Ruminations on the Uncertain
by Liquid Laughter
Summary: Perhaps it’s the fact that she’s just so different. He’s never met anyone like her before, and he doubts anyone else at Hogwarts has either.


_Disclaimer: Nope; I still don't own it. Curses!_

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_**Ruminations on the Uncertain**_

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James Potter isn't sure what it is about Lily Evans that interests him so much.

Sirius has asked – increasingly frequently, as of late – why the hell he's so taken with her, and James has never been able to give him a decent answer. And so he's made it his mission to figure out _why_. So he's taken to observing – not stalking; his friends are all gits – her whenever he's in the same room as her. A week he's been doing this, and he's still not sure.

Perhaps it's the fact that she's just so different. He's never met anyone like her before, and he doubts anyone else at Hogwarts has either.

A Gryffindor Muggle-born who's best friends with a Slytherin clearly destined for the Dark Arts?

Perhaps it's the way she throws herself whole-heartedly into her studies, when everyone else (except Remus, but he's a werewolf, so he's allowed to be a little weird) groans about their classes.

Perhaps it's that he _knows_ his Quidditch routine doesn't impress her and – as she's told him several times – upsets her because it makes him seem so arrogant, yet she never fails to quietly tell him, "Good game," after each match, whether Gryffindor wins or loses.

Perhaps it's the fact that when she catches him "bullying" (her words, not his) one of the other students, she throws an absolute hissy fit, yet when he pranks _her_, she either ignores him or gives it back, two-fold.

Perhaps it's that light that comes into her eyes when they enter into a battle of wits. He's always been amazed by her eyes; how on earth can they be _that_ green?...So perhaps it's just her eyes in general.

Perhaps it's the way she'll stop whatever she's doing to help anyone who asks, even if it means losing sleep that night so she can finish her homework (which she actually completes; how precious is that?).

Perhaps it's the way she can say his name (always _Potter_; never James) and make that one little word issue a complete set of commands and threats or punishments if those commands are not obeyed. It's two measly syllables, so how is that even possible?!

Perhaps it's that when she laughs, she _really_ laughs, rather than just giggling like most girls seem to.

Perhaps it's the unusualness of how – unlike most of his classmates, who get a kick out of his pulling pranks – _her _eyes light up when he does something kind or answers a question seriously in class or when he does something to prove that he doesn't spend _all_ his time just fooling around and just for a moment, she looks like he's made her day.

Perhaps it's the fact that she goes down to the kitchens in her free time to talk to the house-elves, rather than to beg for food, and seems to actually enjoy these conversations.

Perhaps it's simply the knowledge that she's the only girl he's ever met who isn't afraid to cross him. But no, maybe not…because then he wouldn't be interested in how she tilts her head slightly when she's thinking; or in why she uses her wand to secure her bun, rather than a hair band like most girls; or in how when they practice dueling in Charms, she's always the most fiery, the most skilled, the most willing to take a challenge, but she's also the most willing to take mercy on her opponents when they ask for it or need it.

…Sirius can't understand it. Neither can he, but Sirius is the one who keeps bringing it up. She's nowhere near as fit as Marlene McKinnon, he argues, or Alice Prewett. He's right, and James knows it. Marlene has a head of perfect blonde curls, beautiful blue eyes framed by long lashes, and looks like a porcelain doll. Alice has long silky wavy brown hair and a gorgeous smile that makes guys go weak at the knees. And between the two of them, they've got all the fourth year boys – and quite a few fifth and sixth years, too – eating out of the palms of their hands.

Lily Evans has a waist-length curtain of shockingly red hair (straight, of course), a pert little nose that's scattered with freckles, and unlike Alice and Marlene, she's absolutely tiny. Like maybe 5'2" tiny. If the tape measure's feeling generous.

So perhaps it's just the way she doesn't back down from anything and he's never seen her frightened. Perhaps it's just that she's got some sort of extra magic that makes her so noticeable, that makes her so different.

Perhaps it's just that she's so utterly passionate and sure and independent and unattainable and all these other things that can't be described because they're just so _Lily _that no other word does her justice. Perhaps it's that, after all: the fact that you could go up to anyone in the school (except perhaps Slytherins, but they're all berks anyway, so who cares?) and have a conversation about Lily Evans, and just say, "She's so _Lily_," and everyone would immediately understand, because there's no other way to say it that would adequately express all that she is.

James Potter isn't sure what it is about Lily Evans that interests him so much…but he thinks he might be falling for her.


End file.
